How Do You Choose What To Focus On?

As Mark Manson puts it in “The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F***,” we are constantly bombarded with messages to care about everything, all the time. But can this caring about too many things be bad for our mental health? If we are concerned and overly attached to superficial things, our happiness and satisfaction will probably suffer.

We Are Always Choosing 

I have experienced some low lows in life, from physical disability to heartbreak to mental frustration and breakdown. But Mark Manson has reminded me that being miserable from life‘s challenges means that, in some way, I feel like things are out of my control. 

If there is a problem in your life that you feel you cannot solve, you may feel like it was forced on you without any choice. On the contrary, if we feel that we have a choice in our problems, we will feel empowered. 

It’s essential to avoid feeling like a victim and perpetuating a miserable life.

I love the idea of conducting an experiment where we decide that over the next year, we are 100% responsible for things that occur in life. Wouldn’t this help us to do everything in our power to create the circumstances that we want, regardless of the possibility of failure?

Another key point in “The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F***” is the difference between responsibility and fault. There’s a great analogy: it may not be your fault that your vase was broken, but it is your responsibility to fix it. 

Let that sink in.

You Might Be Wrong 

Some people go through life thinking that their philosophies and “facts“ are 100% correct.

But how would that leave room to grow?

Mark states that if he is wrong about everything over and over, that is the reason his life improves. It means he is learning and discovering new things.

A great way to think about this is to find little ways that we may be wrong so that each day we are a little less wrong and getting closer to the truth. In terms of personal growth, we can look at our values as a hypothesis. We may think that a behavior is good or important and that other behaviors are not. If we continue to experiment, we can discover the right answers for ourselves.

“The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F***” shows you that you are on a quest to discover what is right for you. 

Final Thoughts 

Mark Manson closes the book with some thoughts on death. While this may seem morbid, the point he is making is that if we can accept the fact that we will die someday, we will be free to choose our values without restraint. Our values help us to find meaning and worth in our lives.

“The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F***” is about reaching the spiritual state of embracing the impermanence of our existence.

From there, we can find true freedom.

I would love to hear what others think; drop a comment below!

I hope this book of the week review has provided some value to you. As always, thanks for reading!

*As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

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